I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
