he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
