we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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