you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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