ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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