I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
