If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
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he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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