I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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