One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
