Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize