the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Jerry, you need to find god
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
