we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
