were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
