He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
