i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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