the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
