Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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