the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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