awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize