I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
