I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You need Xanax blowdarts
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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