if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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