Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
