Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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