Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
