I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
