I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
