how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
