is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Your penis caused this!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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