I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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