hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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