All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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