There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
