Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I understand Curling. That high.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
