So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
