the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I want to make a zoo with you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
