I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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