we have officially lost it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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