So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
