so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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