i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize