just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize