I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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