So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
