brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
My vagina just recognized that song.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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