omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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