it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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