I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just had sex bonerless
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize
