You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
