Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
