Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
