i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
