Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize