This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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