is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
