i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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