Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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