Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
