oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Send us your Text From Last Night!
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
