But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Send us your Text From Last Night!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.