goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
