The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
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i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You smell like a Billy Joel song