you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
